My Memoir

My Memoir
by me(whatever)

no words
come from the mouth of the dead.

Though their face is the same,
though their nose is the same bulbous shape,
they will not wake up.

At his funeral,
watching from behind a tree.
A little group of relatives
singing songs like they were a lullaby.

No one cries;
it was an expected.
And everyone smiles at a family gathering.

I can look around at the stones,
the stones engraved with lost lives.
More and more people I will never know.
A sea.

Within this group I can see,
how I do not belong here.
and so I asked myself the question:
what was I doing here?

But I already knew the answer,
because you see.
A few years ago when he was still healthy
he gave my little brother and I a bunch of stuffed animals.
still smelling like smoke.

My mother told me,
when I was a little girl and even sulkier than I am now.
That at another family gathering,
hiding away by myself as usual.
she wondered at me.

But he saw;
"Just a loner, like me,"
he said.

It feels like the people who understand me
are disappearing one by one.

Ideas.

Ideas.
by me(whatever)
to : machinarium ost

For Ideas.
Those funny little things.
crawling in our heads
like burrowing worms.

I cover my ears.
So they can't escape.

I close my mouth.
So they won't be seen.

I shut my eyelids.
And roll my eyeballs to the back of my brain
watching them squirm around
at my attention.

They are as interested in me
as I am in them.

Meta World

Meta World
by me(whatever)
to : Gumi- Patchwork Eden

Toxic rain falling
from inside a yellow umbrella.
Separated matryoshka
singing in a fairy circle.

a set of moonlight
falls on a lone person
staring wistfully,
out a glinting window.

Old grinning tales,
attached to the scratching cat.
Same words, new words
scattering in Santa's bag.

Patchwork world,
electric night.
Tearing pieces
with hypocritical wounds.

Unable to sleep,
Same old song
paying at the piano tollbooth.
Eaten mp3 nonsense.

a set of moonlight,
falling on the tainted city.
A snickering rain
smelling like dropped mint.

Same words, same wounds
falls on a lone person.
Transmitting another trial,
singing in a fairy circle.

The always producing machine,
misbehaving for it's dusty boredom.
That shooting star
is wearing a strait jacket.

The clock is gracing time,
with only a nose.
I, Pseudo human
mimicry a television station.

This Meta World,
spun on a spiders web.
This Meta World,
crushing the spider.

10 O'clock at night,
thoughts and this Pseudo City
after all is exhausted,
This Meta World's Pseudo smiles.

Neighbor Espionage adventure

 Neighbor Espionage adventure
by me(whatever)
to : Sobakasu

Espionage on your face,
oh what a pain.
Don't ring at my door,
just because you don't want to go by yourself.

So why,
do we have to stalk your sister round downtown?
Because she's got a new boyfriend?
Ah, man I wanna go home.
but you pull me along by the arm.

Peeking through a shop window featuring stuffed animals,
we can see that doll girl smiling
at what you call the 'dirt' next to her.
That teddy bear in front of me,
I think I'll buy it later (when no one's watching).

Trailing the poor couple down the crowded street,
the next destination is a small cafe.
Sun at it's highest peak,
the vampire me is suffering.

Sitting across a few tables outside,
please, oh please, don't pull those out
Not the goof glasses and the detective outfit!
But you go all out with the sticky moustache,
and while you peer through the two-holed newspaper,
I can see our waitress laughing behind her back.

Does this neighbor kid have some kind of sister complex?
actually, I don't even wanna know.
With all these people staring at us,
The only thing I want is to disappear.
(But first I think I'll scarf down this parfait.)

On the road again,
I'm walking a few paces behind.
I don't know you, I don't know you, I wish I didn't know you
Ooops,
peering at my watch,
looks like I missed my show. *inward sigh*

With all the eyes around us, and the little girl who's pointing
how in the world has your sister not noticed us yet?
Either she's blind or feigning indifference,
I'd like to think it's the former.

In that long coat trailing over your shoes,
how are you surviving this tyranny of heat?
It twists around your legs,
and in a bundle of cloth and boy
you trip and collapse.

You look so pitiful there,
sorry, I can't hold back the laughter!
With wounded pride you stand and start walking away.
Hey!
Looks like we're both as hopeless as ever. 

So the 'dirt' guy needs a bathroom break.
As soon as he's disappeared into that tiled room,
the doll-featured sister stomps over to us.
Ah, now I see why you wanted me along.
It was to balance the serving of scolding, wasn't it?

yep,
as hopeless as ever.
But at least I got a parfait.
I mean, neighbor boy paid.

Colors of the Past

Colors of the Past
by me(whatever)
to this song: Broken Moon

As this unsteady wind moves me,
I cast my mind to the sea-like waves.
Each one rising and falling in the night,
bringing it back to me.

Like a withered note from a plastic bottle,
I uncrinkle the message from the past.
In the lone noise of lake and breeze,
my thoughts are louder than reality.

The traveler in my imagination
is soaring their eyes to the sky.
The old man on the moon tosses a pebble down to them,
and continues his autumn cleaning.

The blue hair of twilight is growing slightly,
deepening it's hue on the mountain line.
Shards of life on the darkening world
pass over my head traveling on wings.

Color maidens dye their robes a deepening evening,
singing silently in sapphire voices.
Submerging a freedom into nature
I let go of my slippery wet hand.

We eat on dreams,
and live on words.
On this sandy shore
I gather colors of the past.

My empty bowl of chocolate ice-cream

My empty bowl of chocolate ice-cream
by me(whatever)

An empty white bowl,
stained with the remains of chocolate ice-cream
sits on the corner of the desk.

"Hey you!"
It yells to me.
nonchalantly I look over.

I look back to the screen.
I look back over,
taking the spoon handle.

In the bottom of that bowl,
the lone remains
of a syrup blood puddle.

Stirring the spoon,
I imagine I'm stirring
my existence into the universe.

For such a thing as Happiness

For such a thing as Happiness
by me(whatever)
to this song: KOKIA- Daiji na Mono wa Mabuta no Ura

What are you thinking?
The words spilled out like that...
In time that cannot be stopped,
even you disappeared.

"I am here!"
But no one hears my voice.
Echoing on the empty wasteland,
I'd like to return to my dreams.

In the end everything we believed,
were colorful lies spun by oblivious adults.
Right as I was able to see reality,
it pierced me like a knife.

Even I,
without searching for an exit,
Will have to walk in this town.
wearing this mask of hope.

Don't fall asleep,
an exit is nowhere to be found.
Such a thing as Paradise:
does not exist.

Before I fall in this trap I set for myself,
I'd like to give some passing words.
In this time that flows on forever,
the most important things are forgotten.

"I am here!"
but there is no voice to be found.
Swallowed up by broken concrete blocks,
I can see the place I belong.

The smiles we drew on each other,
they will have to wait to be erased.
Before I disappear,
I'd like to ask forgiveness
for wishing for such a thing as happiness.