Last Goodbye

Last Goodbye
by me(whatever)
1/17/16

I take a deep breath,
a solitary night deepened in white.
On the jungle gym, I brush off the snow,
swinging back and forth to the milky way and back.

there might not be many people
who understand you and me,
as though we were left behind
by those around us,
the empty air to affront us
was filled with sludge.

This is the last goodbye
and the first hello.
on the stairs lit by windows,
conversations I've forgotten.
Like a secret base in the summer,
like a hide away in the winter,
I was there with you.
no one noticed.

time has fled and flown away,
to a place I'm no longer able to reach.
I've always been selfish; a normal human.
the type I despise, but...
in a selfishly altruistic way,
I truly loved you.

"Someone who understands me" -
that's what I said I didn't want, right?
Excuses made up for the pain that I didn't want to feel,
the same way lies work for someone who can't see past them.
So I can properly convey myself to you, I want
to see you as who you really, really are.

The snow flies past the windows,
as though I'm watching a scene from another world.
I take a deep breath, close my eyes,
take a wish from the galactic railroad.
I don't need to know you 100%,
just as you don't need to know me.
It's okay if I'm alone for the rest of my life,
because I have acquired what I have truly wanted.
after all.

This is the last goodbye.

It's kind of funny, right?
Despite all that time together,
did we really know who the other was?

siina mota

siina mota
12/3/15 2:31 AM

the difference from E to Z.
batter to cake. dough to bread.
"If I could live my life, second by second"
March to December. Flower to snow.

the difference from 1 to 5.
top to bottom. Beginning to end.
"It was always terrible, but we were happy"
Kitten to cat. words to formulas.

the difference from green to blue.
Hello to goodbye. Strangers to friends.
"The toy I wanted is in my hand"
morning to night. Dark to light.

by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍 cover by ゆう十

I only remember how cold the winter
is when it arrives.
I only remember who I am
when I'm with you.

If only I lived outside the atmosphere,
to pluck the stars from their stems.
If only I had chosen
a different person to become.

There is a phase
where you can't see the moon.
there is a place
that I can't seem to find.

Please show the Earth
the meaning of the universe.
Please take my hand and
tell me you love me.

October 29th

October 29th
by me(whatever)
to: siina mota- strobe light

October 29,
it's cold
and I wear
my mittens inside
for the first time this year.

cat snuggles
warmly on
the comforter
and without dates
or weeks or calendars.

I live on
simply with
broken thoughts
and separated scenery
like the pieces of a teacup.

the furnace
needs maintenance
my pinky ends
are the only
purple out of pink.

They're Not Human

They're Not Human
by me(whatever)
to: Kimura Kaela- You Bet!

They're not human,
not the way you are.
choking in their own smoke,
buried in artificial ant-hills,
mustached.
and some sort of lame-ass excuse
still lets me see you.
And I can't stop this war,
even if we understood each other.
you and I both know.
It's the end of the world,
and I can't read the look in your eyes.
In these crummy politics
and unwavering self-righteous propaganda.
The majority is convinced.
The majority is confused.
I can't love you, it's impossible.
"To cleanse this blue jewel,
we must pass it through fire"-
is repeated over and over again
in the static on the radio.
It's a "reason",
it's an "excuse",
"justice" is being served.
and they prick your pinkie finger
just to watch you bleed.
modern, white, and sterile prison cell,
your eyes shift from side to side.
With the empty promises I made you
and a gap in our DNA
You're convinced.
You're confused.
I can't love you, it's impossible.
Because we're not human,
not the way you are.

time-traveler

time-traveler
by me(whatever)
to: Forestpireo- not losing to the rain, not losing to the wind

tomorrow, when it will be sunny,
with the clouds as fluffy as unshorn sheep.
I'll take out the checkered blanket and basket,
walk up to the hill with the poppies,
and I'll have a picnic with the air.

the day after tomorrow, which was dark,
with the clouds like islands in the sky.
I stayed indoors all day, washing the dishes,
staring outside at the wind through the trees,
and sang a song no one could hear.

yesterday, when it was raining,
with the clouds as flat as marble.
I tread out of town with a lady-bug umbrella,
splashing quietly through the barren streets,
window-shopping for the teacups you wanted.

the day before yesterday, which will be snowy,
with the clouds reflecting the ground.
I will climb a tree without leaving footprints,
replay the music box from you, who's never met me
and watch the world disappear.

Garden

Garden
by me(whatever)
9/4/15 10:37 pm Fri
to: miku-tan- thoughtful zombie (japanese ver)

the skeleton spoke
silence in words.
the rain spoke
words in silence.

the pumpkin told
a rock a story.
the morning glory told
a worm the sun.

the fish shed tears
for the bridge.
the apple shed tears
for the stars.

the book cried
the touch of rain.
the pen cried
the touch of words.

the girl walked through
a garden in September.
the skeleton asked her
of death.

Sandcastle

Sandcastle
by me(whatever)
Thu 9/3/15 4:36 AM
to: akino arai- kakusei toshi

A girl built a sandcastle,
on a blistering, blue summers day
in the month of February
when the ocean turned it's back.

A girl wonders to herself
if glass is better left as sand
and she fixtures a white flag
from a twig and a napkin.

A girl stood in an empty ocean bed
and felt herself drowning
so she dug a wind-filled moat
for the water to find.

A girl watches for the moon
from her windows made of sand.
And she continues to question
what it is that it reflects.

The girl receives a message of snow,
riding on the waves of the dunes.
And she leaves the sand as sand
for a land she's never seen.

by me(whatever)
to: Gumi- Yuurei (midoriinu)

It's an unresponsive emergency
where no justice has ever existed.
What's right or wrong?
The crying child in the corner of the room
seems to be invisible to you.

pick and pull at the strings;
they stare and question what you are.
if you walked down to where they died,
farther and further
even you wouldn't be the same.

Less than human, yet more,
there's no place for you to belong.
The trembling you hide behind your stone face,
will go on.
They're the hypocrite. You're the hypocrite. 

drink down the pain with your misunderstood ideals;
tell me exactly what I should be.
Forever
In between the empty space of brain and ghost;
were you able to hear me?

by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍- yuuna

It's after midnight,
on a Thursday night,
or Friday morning.
I've noticed how
everything has changed
in these past two weeks.

I'm sitting here
typing with a tissue
glued to my face.
a bloody nose
is never a good addition
to anything, really.

I'm tired, and somewhat emotional.
I'm sorry you must be reading this.

How long ago was yesterday;
is it still within my grasp?
a little lightheaded as
I am prohibited from taking a shower.

The cat in my room
whines whenever I leave at night.
She and I are somewhat alike.
We're lonely and afraid
people will leave us
when the sun goes down.
my pink slippers are sorta broken.
it might be time for a new pair.

It's like reaching out
for a pair of hands from a stranger
in the future
who may or not be there.
you don't feel like
you can depend on the people around you.
I want to sleep,
but there's too many what-ifs in my room.
like
"what if I died tomorrow?"
or
"what if chocolate had never been invented?"
it's annoying.

I'm done with the past,
I don't need to think about it anymore.
I may have betrayed myself somewhere,
but I am who I am now.
So, I know who you are.
Let me go to bed and wake up in the morning
already.
No?
What a egoist you are.

My cat is a cute fluff ball.
sleeping in a pink bed too small for her.
You don't know how cute it really is,
just from this lazy description.
too bad.
you're deprived.

by me(whatever)
to: furukawa honpo- kamakura

someone I knew well,
and someone I never knew
died two weeks ago.

I have so many
words I want to say, and yet
I have none at all.

by me(whatever)
to: zankyou no terror ost

The crow flies over
the trees and mushrooms below
in the city's rain.

a girl looks upon
the diseased corpse of a cat
melting on the street.

darkened clouds ride on
a sky uninhabited
by souls of the dead.

She pulls her hair back
eats a can of spaghetti.
it's above her head.

did you see the bird?
as it arched across the sky.
did you see the bird?

It's Not the End of the World. (Yet)

It's Not the End of the World. (Yet)
by me(whatever)
to: Yiruma's Greatest hits piano

at the end of the world,
if it ever happens.
Surely I'll be with you.
3 seconds until the dimensions close,
one shoe in hand.
Holding tight to the railing,
walking over the city.
There's not much left to tell you.
about myself, about you.
I want to fall headfirst into the universe,
stars and suns and empty blackness
where there's surely enough room
for me to exist.
Yes, it's only a pipe dream,
and I might have to wake up eventually.
There's snails traveling to Capella,
and I can't sleep with all their racket.
Even as she stares at that one far-away place,
fluffy ears, and twitching tail.
Atlas in hand. 
I must close my eyes, back-to-back.
The distance between us is growing more and more.
Well, I've always been alone.
This shouldn't feel any different.
To the mad scientists lair!
And the worlds only we have the map to.
There's no such thing as dragons,
except people.
Down the well, to god, to god.
I have to wonder (to you)
if my existence meant anything at all.
3 seconds until the flame burns out,
and look how the demons get riled up!
I had a dream once,
where I sledded down the hill
and fell off the edge of the earth.
I wonder where all those pathways went.
The ones I walked with you.
I need to sleep.
I need to sleep.

Traffic

Traffic
by me(whatever)
to: Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

It's pretty funny.
you know,
watching your face.
Blink and stare
like traffic lights.
Wondering why
the cars won't stop for you.
and
I could almost laugh,
at the way you talk.
fading in and out.
like the sound of
the gate closing on the railroad.
Waiting for the train
that has never come.
and when
you walk
I feel like snickering.
the way your pace
fits the spaces of the crosswalk
so perfectly.
you know,
For a place
you'll never reach.
yeah.
It's pretty funny.

alien

alien
by me(whatever)
to: Human (a android works) -kano

I wanted to know,
the distance between me and the moon.
On that windy day when the rain and the trees
were all I could hear.

I wanted to know,
the distance between the Earth and the world.
On the opposite road when the children
played helicopter.

I wanted to know,
the distance between me and you.
On the lilac bush where the bottle
fell from the clouds.

Ghost

Ghost
by me(whatever)
6/13/15 5:17 am
「テロメアの産声」を歌ってみた。KK

as though I'm about to disappear,
I take a sip of water and swallow.
Today, tomorrow, and an intangible future
haunted by a person in the room.

There's nothing but cobwebs,
littering the ceiling I shut my eyes to.
Doors open and close forever,
as I listen to the voices beyond the wall.

Please give me your hand,
hold my trembling body that's about to disappear.
Without a sliver of mercy or memory,
your blue bells wilted and crumbled to dust.

the dish spilling milk in the night sky,
without meeting my eyes, will swallow me up.
forgetting everything that came before,
It's time for me to leave.

Dragon

Dragon
by me(whatever)
5/26/15 3:55 AM Lucy Rose- Shiver

Your umbrella drips dry in the rain,
The shadows on the wall a part of you.
In the gray morning, you look out your window
for the persimmon tree you used to talk to.

The boat in the painting sails without a soul,
across the gap in your heart you refuse to see.
You open a book full of the pieces of someone else,
to distract the dragon when it gets too hungry.

The fire kindles and sparks in the heather,
yet you wear your large, gray coat and shiver.
sometimes you peer endlessly at the brick wall,
removing it brick by brick until its gone.
And then build it up again.

by me(whatever)
to: Miku- Palmtop Wonderland (Nekobolo)

The star I looked for that day,
floated quietly through the water.
The truth in the lies you told,
and the lies in your flawed truths
melted the snow from off it's surface.
And now no one knows how far it's gone,
whether to someones tears or someones dream.

To the Ocean

To the Ocean
by me(whatever)
to: School Food Punishment- Beer Trip

Today too, in your locker,
a shattered piece of rain
leaks down the shelves and wets your sleeves
as you were waiting for a message.
 
Telephone poles point to the sky,
on your way home holding a useless umbrella.
remembering the last words they spoke,
piling up, accumulating, gathering together like snow.

I want to forget my body,
and let only my essence escape
in a sunny blue day with no worries.
It's just foolishness.

The last stop on the train,
and you clutch your bag a little tighter.
3,4,5, days it's been, and a cold day in March,
you throw away your school supplies down the empty well.

Let's go to the ocean.
Just you and me,
like when you begged me that one, last time.
Let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean.

Let's go to the ocean,
forget our mistakes,
see the sun reflect on the water.
Let's go to the ocean.
walk along the sand with our shoes in our hands.

I want to find the line where heart and logic connect,
and cut away all the secrets we hid there.
Bicycling along a path lined in 3-leaf clovers,
like the ones you'd collect in your soda bottles.

A's marked vertically, as though trying to prove something,
ash floats to the surface of the bowl.
glances from the teachers, tight conversations,
the janitor's bucket spilled down the stairs.

If I could travel back in time,
If I could return the books you let me borrow.
today too, all of these what-if stories
will rain on the leaky roof above my head.

So let's go to the ocean,
Just you and me,
to the place you wanted to go,
Let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean.

Let's go to the ocean,
forget our regrets,
where the waves will carry us,
Let's go to the ocean,
I won't forget you, no, not ever.

Let's go to the ocean,
Only you and me,
and I'll give you a little taste of hope,
so let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean. 

Hypothesis

Hypothesis
by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍

It's a story from long ago,
and it's not as though we're still the same.
There's not even a way for us
to touch the past without these worthless words.

Burns from the snow, leaking eyes from
stars that are too bright, too vibrant.
Even the theories you made-up about you, me, them,
is an empty well dried up in history.

There isn't a point in dwelling like this,
even if it's to try and understand what went wrong. 
the more you flail and scream, the closer the pain will be.
I know this.

There's no such thing as someone who isn't human,
all fallen and drowned under hopeless motivations.
beyond the barrier, in the green, green grass
there's still no way for you to escape yourself.

When morning comes, on a day faraway from now,
I hope that even in the way I think, you'll be a stranger.
But for now, walk on, walk on, walk on,
hand-in-hand with your philosophy.