Disinfected Hope

Disinfected Hope
by me(whatever)
to this song: Gumi/Len- Dragon Rising

I'm watching out the window,
imagining the wind through the holes in my ears.
Replaying everything I've ever done wrong,
playing hide and seek with the truth.

Laughter playing in the spinning Rollerblades,
so many words I've never been able to say.
Tears clogging grime in the gears of time,
so many words I've regretted saying.

No matter!
This is a revolution, isn't it?
No matter how many times we're pushed down,
the voices from outside saying "No, No."
Doesn't it just make you want to destroy them?

This frustration rising to sky scrapers,
I climb and jump off,
imagining death and death again, yet
Why am I still the hero of this story in the end?

No recognition, no praise
the part of myself that still envies those things
I want to tear it apart.

With all these worthless memories,
will I be able to create a happy ending future?
Ha ha ha
sarcastic giggles, squeaking like mice

I don't know anymore.
Is even this life just a sick joke?
I can imagine it disappearing like a crazy hallucination
and when I wake up,
and when I wake up,
to the end of a realization
would it be shangri-la?

I just feel like everything I've enjoyed
should just end already.
Worthless, worthless
all these replaying days are worthless.

Spreading these wings,
and flying for such a thing as "justice"
all the way to Hell.

I want even more unusual words,
trying to say something I still haven't been able to.
Even through conversation with myself
the singing notes always end in disinfectant.

A hazy sun peeking at the world,
you grab hold of it,
and disappear.