siina mota

siina mota
12/3/15 2:31 AM

the difference from E to Z.
batter to cake. dough to bread.
"If I could live my life, second by second"
March to December. Flower to snow.

the difference from 1 to 5.
top to bottom. Beginning to end.
"It was always terrible, but we were happy"
Kitten to cat. words to formulas.

the difference from green to blue.
Hello to goodbye. Strangers to friends.
"The toy I wanted is in my hand"
morning to night. Dark to light.

by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍 cover by ゆう十

I only remember how cold the winter
is when it arrives.
I only remember who I am
when I'm with you.

If only I lived outside the atmosphere,
to pluck the stars from their stems.
If only I had chosen
a different person to become.

There is a phase
where you can't see the moon.
there is a place
that I can't seem to find.

Please show the Earth
the meaning of the universe.
Please take my hand and
tell me you love me.

October 29th

October 29th
by me(whatever)
to: siina mota- strobe light

October 29,
it's cold
and I wear
my mittens inside
for the first time this year.

cat snuggles
warmly on
the comforter
and without dates
or weeks or calendars.

I live on
simply with
broken thoughts
and separated scenery
like the pieces of a teacup.

the furnace
needs maintenance
my pinky ends
are the only
purple out of pink.

They're Not Human

They're Not Human
by me(whatever)
to: Kimura Kaela- You Bet!

They're not human,
not the way you are.
choking in their own smoke,
buried in artificial ant-hills,
mustached.
and some sort of lame-ass excuse
still lets me see you.
And I can't stop this war,
even if we understood each other.
you and I both know.
It's the end of the world,
and I can't read the look in your eyes.
In these crummy politics
and unwavering self-righteous propaganda.
The majority is convinced.
The majority is confused.
I can't love you, it's impossible.
"To cleanse this blue jewel,
we must pass it through fire"-
is repeated over and over again
in the static on the radio.
It's a "reason",
it's an "excuse",
"justice" is being served.
and they prick your pinkie finger
just to watch you bleed.
modern, white, and sterile prison cell,
your eyes shift from side to side.
With the empty promises I made you
and a gap in our DNA
You're convinced.
You're confused.
I can't love you, it's impossible.
Because we're not human,
not the way you are.

time-traveler

time-traveler
by me(whatever)
to: Forestpireo- not losing to the rain, not losing to the wind

tomorrow, when it will be sunny,
with the clouds as fluffy as unshorn sheep.
I'll take out the checkered blanket and basket,
walk up to the hill with the poppies,
and I'll have a picnic with the air.

the day after tomorrow, which was dark,
with the clouds like islands in the sky.
I stayed indoors all day, washing the dishes,
staring outside at the wind through the trees,
and sang a song no one could hear.

yesterday, when it was raining,
with the clouds as flat as marble.
I tread out of town with a lady-bug umbrella,
splashing quietly through the barren streets,
window-shopping for the teacups you wanted.

the day before yesterday, which will be snowy,
with the clouds reflecting the ground.
I will climb a tree without leaving footprints,
replay the music box from you, who's never met me
and watch the world disappear.

Garden

Garden
by me(whatever)
9/4/15 10:37 pm Fri
to: miku-tan- thoughtful zombie (japanese ver)

the skeleton spoke
silence in words.
the rain spoke
words in silence.

the pumpkin told
a rock a story.
the morning glory told
a worm the sun.

the fish shed tears
for the bridge.
the apple shed tears
for the stars.

the book cried
the touch of rain.
the pen cried
the touch of words.

the girl walked through
a garden in September.
the skeleton asked her
of death.

Sandcastle

Sandcastle
by me(whatever)
Thu 9/3/15 4:36 AM
to: akino arai- kakusei toshi

A girl built a sandcastle,
on a blistering, blue summers day
in the month of February
when the ocean turned it's back.

A girl wonders to herself
if glass is better left as sand
and she fixtures a white flag
from a twig and a napkin.

A girl stood in an empty ocean bed
and felt herself drowning
so she dug a wind-filled moat
for the water to find.

A girl watches for the moon
from her windows made of sand.
And she continues to question
what it is that it reflects.

The girl receives a message of snow,
riding on the waves of the dunes.
And she leaves the sand as sand
for a land she's never seen.

by me(whatever)
to: Gumi- Yuurei (midoriinu)

It's an unresponsive emergency
where no justice has ever existed.
What's right or wrong?
The crying child in the corner of the room
seems to be invisible to you.

pick and pull at the strings;
they stare and question what you are.
if you walked down to where they died,
farther and further
even you wouldn't be the same.

Less than human, yet more,
there's no place for you to belong.
The trembling you hide behind your stone face,
will go on.
They're the hypocrite. You're the hypocrite. 

drink down the pain with your misunderstood ideals;
tell me exactly what I should be.
Forever
In between the empty space of brain and ghost;
were you able to hear me?

by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍- yuuna

It's after midnight,
on a Thursday night,
or Friday morning.
I've noticed how
everything has changed
in these past two weeks.

I'm sitting here
typing with a tissue
glued to my face.
a bloody nose
is never a good addition
to anything, really.

I'm tired, and somewhat emotional.
I'm sorry you must be reading this.

How long ago was yesterday;
is it still within my grasp?
a little lightheaded as
I am prohibited from taking a shower.

The cat in my room
whines whenever I leave at night.
She and I are somewhat alike.
We're lonely and afraid
people will leave us
when the sun goes down.
my pink slippers are sorta broken.
it might be time for a new pair.

It's like reaching out
for a pair of hands from a stranger
in the future
who may or not be there.
you don't feel like
you can depend on the people around you.
I want to sleep,
but there's too many what-ifs in my room.
like
"what if I died tomorrow?"
or
"what if chocolate had never been invented?"
it's annoying.

I'm done with the past,
I don't need to think about it anymore.
I may have betrayed myself somewhere,
but I am who I am now.
So, I know who you are.
Let me go to bed and wake up in the morning
already.
No?
What a egoist you are.

My cat is a cute fluff ball.
sleeping in a pink bed too small for her.
You don't know how cute it really is,
just from this lazy description.
too bad.
you're deprived.

by me(whatever)
to: furukawa honpo- kamakura

someone I knew well,
and someone I never knew
died two weeks ago.

I have so many
words I want to say, and yet
I have none at all.

by me(whatever)
to: zankyou no terror ost

The crow flies over
the trees and mushrooms below
in the city's rain.

a girl looks upon
the diseased corpse of a cat
melting on the street.

darkened clouds ride on
a sky uninhabited
by souls of the dead.

She pulls her hair back
eats a can of spaghetti.
it's above her head.

did you see the bird?
as it arched across the sky.
did you see the bird?

It's Not the End of the World. (Yet)

It's Not the End of the World. (Yet)
by me(whatever)
to: Yiruma's Greatest hits piano

at the end of the world,
if it ever happens.
Surely I'll be with you.
3 seconds until the dimensions close,
one shoe in hand.
Holding tight to the railing,
walking over the city.
There's not much left to tell you.
about myself, about you.
I want to fall headfirst into the universe,
stars and suns and empty blackness
where there's surely enough room
for me to exist.
Yes, it's only a pipe dream,
and I might have to wake up eventually.
There's snails traveling to Capella,
and I can't sleep with all their racket.
Even as she stares at that one far-away place,
fluffy ears, and twitching tail.
Atlas in hand. 
I must close my eyes, back-to-back.
The distance between us is growing more and more.
Well, I've always been alone.
This shouldn't feel any different.
To the mad scientists lair!
And the worlds only we have the map to.
There's no such thing as dragons,
except people.
Down the well, to god, to god.
I have to wonder (to you)
if my existence meant anything at all.
3 seconds until the flame burns out,
and look how the demons get riled up!
I had a dream once,
where I sledded down the hill
and fell off the edge of the earth.
I wonder where all those pathways went.
The ones I walked with you.
I need to sleep.
I need to sleep.

Traffic

Traffic
by me(whatever)
to: Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

It's pretty funny.
you know,
watching your face.
Blink and stare
like traffic lights.
Wondering why
the cars won't stop for you.
and
I could almost laugh,
at the way you talk.
fading in and out.
like the sound of
the gate closing on the railroad.
Waiting for the train
that has never come.
and when
you walk
I feel like snickering.
the way your pace
fits the spaces of the crosswalk
so perfectly.
you know,
For a place
you'll never reach.
yeah.
It's pretty funny.

alien

alien
by me(whatever)
to: Human (a android works) -kano

I wanted to know,
the distance between me and the moon.
On that windy day when the rain and the trees
were all I could hear.

I wanted to know,
the distance between the Earth and the world.
On the opposite road when the children
played helicopter.

I wanted to know,
the distance between me and you.
On the lilac bush where the bottle
fell from the clouds.

Ghost

Ghost
by me(whatever)
6/13/15 5:17 am
「テロメアの産声」を歌ってみた。KK

as though I'm about to disappear,
I take a sip of water and swallow.
Today, tomorrow, and an intangible future
haunted by a person in the room.

There's nothing but cobwebs,
littering the ceiling I shut my eyes to.
Doors open and close forever,
as I listen to the voices beyond the wall.

Please give me your hand,
hold my trembling body that's about to disappear.
Without a sliver of mercy or memory,
your blue bells wilted and crumbled to dust.

the dish spilling milk in the night sky,
without meeting my eyes, will swallow me up.
forgetting everything that came before,
It's time for me to leave.

Dragon

Dragon
by me(whatever)
5/26/15 3:55 AM Lucy Rose- Shiver

Your umbrella drips dry in the rain,
The shadows on the wall a part of you.
In the gray morning, you look out your window
for the persimmon tree you used to talk to.

The boat in the painting sails without a soul,
across the gap in your heart you refuse to see.
You open a book full of the pieces of someone else,
to distract the dragon when it gets too hungry.

The fire kindles and sparks in the heather,
yet you wear your large, gray coat and shiver.
sometimes you peer endlessly at the brick wall,
removing it brick by brick until its gone.
And then build it up again.

by me(whatever)
to: Miku- Palmtop Wonderland (Nekobolo)

The star I looked for that day,
floated quietly through the water.
The truth in the lies you told,
and the lies in your flawed truths
melted the snow from off it's surface.
And now no one knows how far it's gone,
whether to someones tears or someones dream.

To the Ocean

To the Ocean
by me(whatever)
to: School Food Punishment- Beer Trip

Today too, in your locker,
a shattered piece of rain
leaks down the shelves and wets your sleeves
as you were waiting for a message.
 
Telephone poles point to the sky,
on your way home holding a useless umbrella.
remembering the last words they spoke,
piling up, accumulating, gathering together like snow.

I want to forget my body,
and let only my essence escape
in a sunny blue day with no worries.
It's just foolishness.

The last stop on the train,
and you clutch your bag a little tighter.
3,4,5, days it's been, and a cold day in March,
you throw away your school supplies down the empty well.

Let's go to the ocean.
Just you and me,
like when you begged me that one, last time.
Let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean.

Let's go to the ocean,
forget our mistakes,
see the sun reflect on the water.
Let's go to the ocean.
walk along the sand with our shoes in our hands.

I want to find the line where heart and logic connect,
and cut away all the secrets we hid there.
Bicycling along a path lined in 3-leaf clovers,
like the ones you'd collect in your soda bottles.

A's marked vertically, as though trying to prove something,
ash floats to the surface of the bowl.
glances from the teachers, tight conversations,
the janitor's bucket spilled down the stairs.

If I could travel back in time,
If I could return the books you let me borrow.
today too, all of these what-if stories
will rain on the leaky roof above my head.

So let's go to the ocean,
Just you and me,
to the place you wanted to go,
Let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean.

Let's go to the ocean,
forget our regrets,
where the waves will carry us,
Let's go to the ocean,
I won't forget you, no, not ever.

Let's go to the ocean,
Only you and me,
and I'll give you a little taste of hope,
so let's go to the ocean,
Let's go to the ocean. 

Hypothesis

Hypothesis
by me(whatever)
to: 夜明けと蛍

It's a story from long ago,
and it's not as though we're still the same.
There's not even a way for us
to touch the past without these worthless words.

Burns from the snow, leaking eyes from
stars that are too bright, too vibrant.
Even the theories you made-up about you, me, them,
is an empty well dried up in history.

There isn't a point in dwelling like this,
even if it's to try and understand what went wrong. 
the more you flail and scream, the closer the pain will be.
I know this.

There's no such thing as someone who isn't human,
all fallen and drowned under hopeless motivations.
beyond the barrier, in the green, green grass
there's still no way for you to escape yourself.

When morning comes, on a day faraway from now,
I hope that even in the way I think, you'll be a stranger.
But for now, walk on, walk on, walk on,
hand-in-hand with your philosophy.

camouflage

camouflage
by me(whatever)
to: Fullkawa Honpo- mugs

tell me, what's beyond these present days,
a dimension no one can touch.
a room in the classroom, white and
water-colored lamps from the ceiling.

I'm normal, utterly normal.
in a way I'm just as transparent and unneeded
as the you who is cut off from our world.
Just like the words written on the Polaroid

I want to see you once again,
touch you, tell you, all the things inside my head.
In the end, how much of me is really me?
the human soul is trapped inside firefly jars.

No matter how much you try to see clearly,
the present blurs with the effects of the past.
Tell me, is the reality that I view now
really something I can only see alone?

by me(whatever) 4/17/15
to: People in the Box- Seijatachi

The city's overridden in gray clouds,
your wet hair sticks to your forehead-
hard to tell if it's sweat or the humidity
a bird flies an arc across the sunlight
streaming through the window
reminding you of a childhood memory
a place that can never be reached again.

In these empty days,
Searching for the place you truly belong
a piece of paper rustles,
returning your attention to your present task
umbrella in the lost and found
the sidewalk spots and darkens in the rain
and it's time for you to head home.

by me(whatever) 4/14/15
to: Akino Arai- Kakusei Toshi

Today came and left,
leaving only memories
for me to hold onto
and change.

I want to live where you do,
a place the wind continues to flow.
Open your eyes to see at last
the one, true reality the dreams were based on.

If you take one step forward,
you can change not only the present.
As the present fades,
it adds itself to the past.

Stop hiding!
Even the fear is based on illusion.
Climb the stairwell in front of you,
it will all be fine.

Silhouette

Silhouette
by me(whatever)
to: KANA-BOON-Silhouette (シルエット）

striped expressions across your face,
black and white-
a smile, a frown
hiding the colors that make you up.

a sunny Friday leads to yet more mysteries,
with a blank piece of paper,
splashing on a bucket of watercolor
of the tints that "may, might, could be" behind you.

the landscape in the distance mixes and blurs,
creating a mess I can't escape from.
focusing on the curve of your smile, the angle of your eyes,
it all falls out of proportion!

in your shoes, what color paths did you walk down,
was it a yellow brick road? a stretch of blue silk?
hints, clues, until I hit the wall of glass between us
is it you I see, or a reflection of myself?

in the scenery, I try to peer at the things far away,
and wonder if distance is really necessary, like I thought.
standing outside the window in the twilight,
is the perfect impression of your silhouette.

A.M.

A.M.
by me(whatever)
to: David Cook- Touch 'n Go

dog-eared pages,
12:26 A.M.
a moon that is a sliver,
cat in the window.

a small murmur of rain,
Russian nesting dolls
1:02 A.M.
flying machines on the shelf.

2:15 A.M.
distant wind-chimes
unable to breathe.
a four-leaf-clover in a diary.

darkened painting
a lingering scent of plum blossoms.
I think of you
3:27 A.M.

Closed in

Closed in
by me(whatever)
to: Miku- Matoi

where to begin in this story?
where you have been pretending
to be the narrator of
ever since you were small.

The world is round,
and I think about you in circles,
running across the grassy edges in bare feet
in a slightly lonely merry-go-round.

holding an apple to the cloudy sky,
I peer out of the dream for a splash of blue.
My own ocean in the midst of this desert,
waiting for your return.

Not many of the things you feel
are you able to put into words,
so you spend time growing a forest of apple trees
that are only distantly attached to reality.

Whilst I wait for you,
I think I'll write plenty of poetry.
send them to an address that doesn't exist,
and place a sigh into the envelope.

Unable to go anywhere,
yet the future changes the familiar paths.
Ribbons, strings, and threads,
connecting me to people, places, and the sparse pieces of you.

Surely within the image, if I can continue,
a conclusion to this fear can be reached.
unable to understand even the normal things,
you take my hand and open the window for me;
spring is here.

Windy Day, Saturday

Windy Day, Saturday
by me(whatever)
to: hinekureneji to ame- cover by Justin Ly + ATEL

ascending the steps to a house in the sky,
passing the rose garden and the ivy-climbed bird bath
peering up from under the whistling willow tree
watching the clouds flow by,
a place you've lived by yourself
ever since you were young.

the world spins and turns underneath you,
and you've stayed the same here,
hearing the gears click together in quiet symphony
it's a Saturday, and the Zeppelin
floats by,
addressing itself to you.

the butterfly pauses around the cluster of lilacs,
the crow jumps out of the bushes,
sipping your hot chocolate while eating the words
of the freshly delivered newspaper.
You might have a few regrets,
but we must learn how to live.

Pieces

Pieces
by me(whatever)
to: The Fray- How to Save a Life

piecing together
a jigsaw from the bin
bits and fragments without a name,
not even a word-
as though its invisible
    not invisible enough.

tying together
a voiceless discussion
books flipped to the missing page,
not even a number-
as though its painful
    not painful enough.

holding together
a cup you used to drink from
coins dropped in the flower vase
not even a thought-
as though it's lost
    not lost enough.

Inhuman

Inhuman
by me(whatever)
to: Nightwalker- cover himawari (向日葵)

people in the trees,
walking with your head down.
Dogs on leashes,
tugging to smell someones excrete.

the whistle from the train station,
calling out for me to leave.
Everywhere you go,
thousands of one-way windows.  

lasagna without hamburger,
frustrating conversations.
Disliking the cup of tea you serve me,
the grins of the crowd are sunshine.

talk to me because I'm alone,
but we won't have even 10 minutes before you're bored.
Give blessings for the food I won't eat,
shoving your philosophy down my throat.

I must appreciate your selfishness
to keep me as your turtle in a tank.
forget the real world within your delusions;
escape to a world that is even scarier.

somehow my head has become detached,
and my body is walking around with its own mind.
the polite ways of saying "shut up",
have zipped my mouth with a needle and thread.

the gossip of a friends, friends, friendly neighbors,
worrying, justifying, yet refusing to step in.
You're sad, sad, scared, and depressed,
trying to give subtle hints so someone might help you.

The widespread freedom within a prison cell,
if you're born within a room with invisibly barred walls.
The phone rings, rings, and sings, taking the place
of the person you were talking with in reality.

sighing over your normal life,
a life that isn't normal to another person.
continuously searching for what you lack,
ignoring what you have.

An era the children scream is worse than ever before,
without taking a delve into history, your feet are dry.
laughing at others, an explosive egoism,
on a throne of thrown-away milk cartons.

People who are lonely, people who are white-knights,
they are lonely because they need a certain type of person.
if they refuse you, if they don't like you,
it's not you, it's not your problem.

a cat and mouse game,
to find out who you are.
with all of these framed white lies,
where are we going, where are you going?

Android

Android
by me(whatever)
to: Human (a Android works)- nico nico chorus

I don't understand,
the library mind you have
or your ugly dress.

I don't understand,
humanity's history,
or all your oil cans.

I don't understand,
the gold and platinum cats
that dance in your eyes.

I don't understand,
why I might have to leave you,
who knows who I am.

I don't understand,
the rare, watered expressions
you don't know you have.

I don't understand,
how I can search out your heart,
you who are human.

Human

Human
by me(whatever)
to: Human (a Android works)- nico nico chorus

I don't understand,
your yearned for heart to heart chats,
or your "people treats".

I don't understand,
where you might be leaving for,
with all that stale cake.

I don't understand,
the folded pictures within,
that show me your eyes.

I don't understand,
what make my chips different
from your genetics.

I don't understand,
why you can walk in the rain,
and not rust at all.

I don't understand,
what you meant by "I love you",
you who are human.

Debate

Debate
by me(whatever)
to: miku- fakery tale

A similarity hated in someone else,
a walk down the sidewalk on a winters afternoon.
Things I wish I could say,
things I wish someone would say,
Where can I ...

a polite mask curbing bitterness,
a book from the library holding a child's bookmark.
Things I wish I could feel,
Things I wish someone would feel,
How can I ...

a failed expectation they pretend not to notice,
water marks in a student's English notebook.
Things I wish I could remember,
Things I wish someone would forget,
When can I ...

a life created and summed up in white lies,
an empty chair on the other side of the table.
Things I wish I could fight against,
Things I wish someone would accept,
Why can't I ...

Words from Blank Pages

Words from Blank Pages
by me(whatever)
to: Oasis- Wonderwall

another night in the morning,
I look up from the bottom of the empty well,
sipping in the desert with a vacant body,
reminding me of what I never had.

another person talking in the silence,
a bird flies in the cloudless sky
deafening the ears of those who endlessly scream,
with a song it has forgotten how to sing.

another friend who is a stranger,
stepping on the newspaper in the empty lot,
large-font titles that can't say what they mean,
waiting for the rain to wash it away.

another conversation in monologue,
I discard the shoes from when I met you,
relying on the people in my mind,
to save me from myself.

Crate

Crate
by me(whatever)
to: Miku- Two Men of the Hanging Tree

a crate full of oddities,
sifting through the art supplies,
peeking one eye through a crack in the book
of reality and fiction, and then the other,
unable to discern the ruling party.

a diary, a part of someones life
that I never knew, and will never know.
Breaking expectations, hiding secrets,
hints not so well hidden in the garbage,
the smell of the truth is everywhere.

Smoke slightly rises to the sky,
decapitated flowers in the shadows.
even living within 20 ft. of each other,
I don't know the person below me.
Reality is realized with hot chocolate.

Endless questions flow in the starless river
within my mind. Watching them from the bank,
A blank expression pasted on your face.
Just like last time, unable to do anything.
Observe, observe, observe.

"No one cares for me anyways!" things you say,
you both believe them, and are unable to.
With the existence I didn't seek out, you might be right.
All these humans in the merry-go-round
unable to wear anything but two faces.

Theories run around the ceiling in my room,
attempting to make sense, to understand.
But no matter what, I can't crawl into another persons head.
I can never wear their shoes, or even wear mine
as afraid as I am to walk down the stairs.

Parallel Lines

Parallel Lines
by me(whatever)
to: rin kagamine- Deep Sea City Underground

Last night, I went to sleep on a gray, breezy night.
Dreaming of my beloved, an elephant sat on my chest,
my left arm hurt, and my breathing became wheezy.
When I slipped out of my mouth, and my heart stopped at 4 am,
I stood next to my bed with an unmoving body
and realized I had died.

I love you, I love you so much.
Before the day could break and steal my soul away,
I slipped into the cracks in the wall.
When I awoke I was in an alleyway, galaxies from you,
in the body of another version of me.

The sky was blood red, and I could jump seven times higher.
Fish flew in the sky, and the buildings were all made of ice.
My parents were dead in a green dyed cemetery,
I lived for a little while, wandering around for you,
but soon, to escape, I flew off a large sky scraper.

I love you, I love you so much.
Before the angels could come retrieve my soul,
I squeezed between the cracks in the sidewalk.
when I awoke, I was in a basement full of smoke.
in the body of another version of me.

The prostitutes unconscious in the corner of the room,
the living dead drugging up their minds,
the king of an underground silk road selling dreams.
outside the trees were made of rusting iron, and I couldn't find you.
swallowing pill after pill in the bathroom.

I love you, my darling dearest.
Before the reaper could cut me from this reality,
I stretched in between the cracks of the broken mirror.
When I awoke, I was in a large bed with 227 pillows,
in the body of another version of me.

Citizens favor the royal-born, the taste of well-bred wine.
expensive dresses line the inside of the wardrobe.
Sending a law for you, the three-legged cat on the tasseled cushion
mewed impatiently that you weren't here either.
The red lines staining the bracelets on my arms.

How many times have I jumped between these parallel lines?
before I'm snatched away by the demons below,
I want to find you, I want to tell you...
an unappealing taste in my mouth, I finally arrive
at the beginning where I met you.

In the body of a person who isn't me,
I peer through their eyes and wait for a clue.
A day at school, a boring friend, a glance at the calendar,
a spider rained on in its web, a gray, breezy night.
And suddenly I realize it's been over 100 years.