Hikikomori Hacker

Hikikomori Hacker
by me(whatever)
to: 東方ボーカル) Shibayan Records- ・ー・・　ーーー　・・・ー　・

You watch them from the screen;
People wearing dog tags, cat tags,
chasing each other around in a boring game
of cat and mouse. Chomping, bored,
on a can of potato chips, you
watch the world from security cameras,
with this horribly tedious
hobby you have.

Sighing, you open the cheap red notebook,
marking down the times, places, and actions
those easily visible drug dealers and
serial killers seem to think were a secret.
A room covered in grime and grocery bags,
dim in the light of a computer and desk lamp,
you decide to call and leave an anonymous tip
for those balloon-brained police. Then order pizza.

Sucking on a warheads sour gum ball, a dead cactus poses
on the windowsill above your dandruff head.
Come to think of it, wasn't that
a gift from your mother for your birthday?
Watching a little kid steal a bike from his neighbor,
you shiver in your black, cheez-it stained coat,
refusing to turn on the heat, because the switch is
all the way over there. And you can't afford it.

You check your empty inbox, stuff back the lens that
fell out of your glasses, and dance cautiously around security;
that lady detective and her boss are looking for you.
Stretching, you take a peek out of the blinds,
reminisce about your middle school crush, and
wonder when you last went outside. Of course,
it's not your fault; the world's full of idiots.
But then,
the door rings.

Clean Freak

Clean Freak
by me(whatever)
to: siinamota- Ghosts in the Forest (1UP Suicide remix)

I wash my sheets every two days,
and vacuum every three.
Every hour I clean my hands
four times before I'm satisfied.

My crumbling shoes are scrubbed once
a week, and all of my clothes
are laundered repeatedly in the machine.
The light switches sparkle, and the door handles gleam.

The silverware I use, I always check, and
the books I read have their covers
wiped, then wiped again. And before I fall
asleep all the doors are 90 degrees to the floor.

I shower in the morning for an hour,
the same at night, and I already know
that all of this is useless.
But I'm filled with thoughts of you.

Things in the Snow

Things in the Snow
by me(whatever)
to: Kenshi Yonezu- Love and Fever

blue, white, red,
colors I wish I were.
Outlining an invisible shape
I carried so many things,
things you can never know about.

If I said I loved you,
what does that even mean?
Outside at night slipping past us all,
transparent glass we can't see through,
a fish globe lit by stars.

Dreaming of places you'll never go,
you're full of contradictions.
Blaming others for the person you've become,
wandering from here to there without an umbrella,
I wonder when you'll realize it.

A place no one else knows about,
I've lost my way.
When it snows all I can do is think about you,
sitting alone in the cold.
What to do, what to do?
Hey, could I hold your hand?"

We're not going anywhere,
stuck here in this place we've lost.
Lies and truth are overlapping,
playing with deceit in it's most innocent form,
so we don't end up hating each other.

Scratching the walls with a ruined pencil,
the one I received from you that day.
If I said that I still love you,
could you tell me what that meant?
I've forgotten all the important things you told me.

the moon has eaten up all of your expressions,
the more we learn of each other, the more we run.
I had a dream last night where we finally understood
all the things the other has been carrying.
What to do, what to do?
I wander and look for you,

And it starts to snow.

All My Fault

All My Fault
by me(whatever)
to: nekobolo- 弾けないギターを片手に

Classrooms,
clouds in the sky,
drowsing within those barriers.
that I can't get enough sleep,
is all my fault.

House,
clouds in the sky,
staring at a blank page.
that I can't write single word,
is all my fault.

Grass fields,
clouds in the sky,
watching the satellite rotate.
that I can't move forwards after this,
is all my fault.

Driveway,
clouds in the sky,
breathing in the winter air.
that I can't forgive that person,
is all my fault.

Bus stop,
clouds in the sky,
waiting at the edge of the world.
that I can't help but wish to disappear,
is all my fault.

Windows,
clouds in the sky,
living without a correctly marked map.
that I've given up everything important to me,
is all my fault.

Here,
rain at my feet, you said
"It's not your fault".
Say, if I was moved by your beautiful lie,
I'm sure that
is all my fault, right?

Umbrella

Umbrella
by me(whatever)
to: Fullkawa Honpo- Haru no

underwater
city waves
library pages
plastic bags
unheard voices
numb fingers
brick walls
sailboat paint
concrete stairwell
muddied clouds
white headlights
rust alleyway
star fishing
pale wrist
violet eaves
waiting for
someone you
will never
know.

Chocolate Almonds

Chocolate Almonds
by me(whatever)
to: Yanagi Nagi- Finder

chocolate almonds,
fig bars,
sweet cranberries,
candy to nourish my brain.
Studying in a dim lighted room,
where one light bulb has already broken,
I listen to the same songs over and over.
Note writing about the universe,
I can't remember the last time I saw daylight.
seriously.

I haven't written a poem in a while,
wandering about the normalcy's of life.
A fairytale future that I believed in as a child,
is turning out to be so different.
I have to write about Jupiter, it's red spot,
and it's four largest moons discovered by Galileo...
peek out the blinds at 4 in the morning,
dark, light, white, fields of rice,
we rush to the window, my cat and I,
it's snowing!

Let's say that I've solved all the mysteries,
and I've discovered what they say is "who I am".
Somehow trekking through problems, and finding "answers",
hasn't let me put one foot in front of the other.
a dusty book shelf I haven't touched in a while,
a Daruma doll with both eyes blank,
a pen running out of ink,
yet only writing worthless nonsense.
What's the difference between a meteor, meteoroid, meteorite?
If I could change my name by being where I am,
I would go immediately to your side.

The Snow Knows

The Snow Knows
by me(whatever)
to: miku- snow knows

A little bit of time alone at my part-time job,
I stop sweeping, and grasp the handle.
Opaque skies, red, gold, greens clinging to the trees, 2 pm,
the first snow.

I wonder where you are,
and I wonder who you've become.
A window without glass standing in front of me,
blanketing the towers, grass, and forgotten summer toys.

white breaths,
black jackets,
red strings,
the snow knows.

the wooden railing is covered in glitter,
brushing it off impatiently, I peer over into the world.
white covers everything, like fresh sheets without ink,
and I fancy it's waiting to draw my voice away.

I wonder where you are,
and I wonder who you really were.
checkered gray concrete, blue numbers, silent streets, 3 pm,
the first snow.

white breaths,
black jackets,
red strings,
the snow knows.

I Don't Know how to Write a Story

I Don't Know how to Write a Story
by me(whatever)
I wrote this a few days ago, but never posted it, ...
I don't know the written date.

I don't know how to write a story.
If I start out with a line like that,
will it eventually bloom into reality?
(-Like a light blue bell flower in June.)
I don't know the setting,
where the wind blows on rain torn streets,
or where the fire burns steadily in the furnace,
and the old, gray cat curls on-top the lap
of a great oak grimoire.
I don't know the characters,
who wear suits and walk around the city
holding their little girl's pink umbrella
in their right hand, and the teenager,
who knows far too much of things to write equations
in her left hand.
I don't know the plot, either,
that fights dragons made of paper all on their own,
or sucks you into another world with no fire hydrants,
Christmas lights, Reese's pieces, or cellphone service.
I admit, I don't even know how to imagine
a story that I am not living.
I don't know how to lose myself
in the secret world that is inside
each and every human being.
I don't know how to escape
to a place
where you're not there.

So could you
remind me,
how to write a story?

Fairytale

Fairytale
by me(whatever)
to: Namine Ritsu- Error
& Error (guitar cover by Justin Ly)

Once upon a time,
there was a fairytale.
Listen closely, and you might hear it;
the gears of it clinking together. 

I was the princess,
and you were the evil witch.
Locked away within a tower,
neither of us could see much.

Is it broken?
Are you broken?
Your black fazed eyes gazed into the dark,
and to save yourself, you broke me.

Once upon a time,
there was a fairytale.
Listen close, there is the sound;
the gears of it thunking together.

You were the princess,
and I was the evil witch.
Without a deep forest to escape to,
neither of us could see much.

Is it broken?
Am I broken?
With no tangible words to hold onto,
I left my voice in the sea. 

Once upon a time,
there was a fairytale.
Listen closely, you can hear it;
the gears of it grinding together.

I was the princess,
and you were the evil witch.
without a single shard of shining armor to be found,
neither of us could see much.

Is it broken?
Are you broken?
without knowing what you were searching for,
you cried in pain.

Once upon a time,
there was a fairytale.
Hold your ears, the sound is overflowing;
the gears of it are clanging and breaking.

You were the princess,
and I was the evil witch.
without a spell to release us from our curse,
we couldn't see a single thing in front of us.

Is it broken?
Am I broken?
We both know there is no happy ending;
there is no easy solution.

Once upon a time,
there was a fairytale.
The machine broke down,
and all we have is tomorrow.

Once a long time ago,
there was a fairytale.
We are broken in this real world,
yes it is true; I hate you. 

A long time ago,
there used to be a fairytale.
If you want to heal us,
don't pretend there's a prince who's waiting.

Is it broken?
Are we broken?
The paper scraps of our story book
are floating in the wind.

There is no fairytale. 
If you want to heal us,
stay by our side, and slowly hand us tiny joys,
overflowing like pebbles in our hands,
until we break again.

Close to You

Close to You
by me(whatever)
to: Close to You (guitar Justin Ly) 
& Close to You (V flower cover)

Beyond the Earth is a single flower,
blooming 600 light years away from here.
I clenched my farewells in my wet palm
as your slowing voice echoed in my ear.

"thank you" "goodbye" "I'm sorry",
we drown over our heads in the rain that falls.
separating me from you,
I look up at the sky, and attempt to climb those gray walls.

there was too much to say,
there was too much I didn't understand.
Cassiopeia bursts a crack in the eggshell sphere,
and tells me to hold your hand.

"goodbye", I knew the meaning,
"never", I knew that too.
A spiral spinning in the galaxy,
this is all so I can be close to you.

From the sidewalk outside the hospital,
to the tiles inside the hallways of a high school,
aligning with the calm of polaris,
without even a wave in the night pool.

my voice won't reach, my eyes can't see,
600 light years away to where you've gone.
searching for your smile, there is a garden
blooming for you in the depths of dawn.

"goodbye", I knew how to close my eyes,
"never", I knew how to silence my voice.
a bouquet spinning in the blue,
this is all so I can be close to you.

Evening on Rainy Bridge

Evening on Rainy Bridge
by me(whatever)
to: miku(nekobolo)-オノマトペメガネ

walk, walk,
walking on across a rainy bridge,
I feel nothing
as the cold nature continues straight through me.

tip, tap,
a young man with an umbrella,
waiting excitedly for his yet-to-be-seen lover,
he doesn't see me as I pass through.

mew, mew,
mewing pitifully in a soggy cardboard box
black and white kitten
wet and abandoned, I have no warmth to offer.

beep, beep,
people who don't see others
rushing along in their metal containers
I can't stop them even if I jumped.

sway, sway,
rustling in the chilly breeze
boughs weighed with gray twilight blues,
a ways away where I can't touch.

whip, whip,
forgotten orange tape tied up above
fighting against itself to stay still,
like that man who was here one day, then gone.

sing, song,
mimicking birds, air, human invention,
wind chimes twinkle quietly in that house far off,
echoing in a soundless place from within me.

Demons Dream in Carnival Lullabies

Demons Dream in Carnival Lullabies
by me(whatever)
to: ateotu- In a Rainy Town, Balloons dance with Devils (English version)

In the outskirts of town,
there's a circus frisking about.
Child in pajamas, crouching in the trees,
"what a pretty one you are!"

a gentle melody from the box,
a lullaby stretched from bony fingers.
tied around the balloon strings,
the devil wears a smile in the night.

Crying in the clear moon is a guardian,
as the child runs home with a friend embraced.
Warmly tucked away in the woods,
sleeping beauty awakes and sings, broken.

the rain springs in the early morning,
whispering in your ear as an afterthought.
Fallen angel dances the ballet in circles,
holding her breath so she won't be noticed.

If you return once, the tents have floated away,
crunching popcorn underneath your shoes.
winding trails peer at the child through dark eyes,
"what a pretty one you are!"

World Domination

World Domination
by me(whatever)
to: rin/len- World Domination How-To

In a sea of desks and chairs,
I'm drowning in the words you spit out.
No matter what I do, I can't find it
where did I hide it again?

(I left it in a glass I think)

I can't remember that man's name,
I think it was Caesar.
What was he even trying to do,
when he picked up the yellow death?

If you asked me a single question,
I would reply with "nothing".
the mirrors with different faces are laughing,
mocking me for the mask I overlaid with truth.

I guess it has nothing to do with you,
just like you said to me that one day.
The demon that I finally caught sight of
was mine alone and not yours.

(though it wore your face)

I can't remember my own name,
I think it was *******
Where was Julius trying to go,
when he picked up his legs and ran?

I want to promise from this day forth,
an artificial banner to wear for the world.
Don't find out, Don't see beyond,
Don't look for me anywhere.

(though I wish you would try)

We've only ever had ourselves,
I can't believe I ever thought I owned anything more.
Beyond this page are never ending questions,
from you to me to no one.

I can't remember your name,
I think it was...
Why are the idle armies,
spending their free time in homeroom?

there's no one in front or behind me,
not even a soul to wave the white flag.
though you might tell me, I can't pick up the shattered glass,
afraid to slice myself on the pieces.

If they call me a control freak,
where am I supposed to go when I'm lost?
the weapons you conceal at the bottom of your lungs,
are the only ones I can't defend against.

(though that's why you use them)

ask me a question,
and I'll say "I don't know".
But the truth is that both of us
already do.

I don't want to remember that man's name,
the one Julius Caesar.
Seven billion globes spinning endlessly,
and I can't claim name to a single one.

Personal Fable

Personal Fable
by me(whatever)
to: Kenshi Yonezu- Eine Kleine

I'd like to write a letter to you,
full of all the gratitude and thanks
for the simple reason of your existence.
Yet when I write things, or say things
they always end up sounding like lies.

Was it you or me who was lost?
at the moment of our meeting,
I can't even remember what I felt then.
This daily life is sucking up and washing away
all the treasured pain and joy from the past.

I want to tell you everything I'm thinking
I want to tell you everything I'm feeling,
for the simple reason of your existence.
Yet when I write things, or say things
they always end up sounding like lies.

The night is hiding the storm inside ourselves,
and neither of us can hear the heartbeat of the other.
No matter if the doorbell rings on the other side,
there's always artificial words and expressions
yet I still wish to be by your side.

You were always so much braver than I was,
full of a type of kindhearted innocence like the dawn.
If I hide anything from you,
it wasn't simply because I was a coward,
but because I am a cruel person.

Once I said hello after all these years,
the phone buzzed and I could hear someone besides myself
repeating those endless spirals, focus and communicate.
who are you? who am I? once we figured it out,
it has all turned into a farewell.

I want you to tell me everything you're thinking
I want you to tell me everything you're feeling,
for the simple reason of your existence.
Yet perhaps when you write things, or say things
you feel like they end up as lies.

Chronic Absence

Chronic Absence
by me(whatever)
to: Kenshi Yonezu(Hachi)- Go Go Ghost Ship

rabbit pops out of a sack bag
"absent again today?" it asks
yet no one can see it except for me,
as it unlocks it's rib cage for the dog.

gnat squeaking from the shadows of 7 am,
"study with me?" sitting on that textbook
yet no one can see it except for me
as it smears its nervous system through the pages.

goldfish splashing in the depths of a blue messenger,
"won't you take me somewhere nice today?" it gurgles,
yet no one can see it except for me
as it drowns in the air on the floor.

mouse scribbling with a collection of #2 pencils,
"do you remember your childhood dreams?" read the message,
yet no one can see it except for me
as it tears away it's neck for the cat.

finch hopping along a silent, dusty cellphone,
"who are you, a lie or truth?" it chirps in song,
yet no one can see it except for me
as it crashes it's tiny body to the mirror.

Bacteria still amongst the flower painting,
"don't you care about me anymore?" is something it can't say,
yet no one can see it except for me
as it withers and rots without a host.

Matches

Matches
by me(whatever)
to: Trees in our Homeland

The world is white
I held hands with you
in the endless horizon
where the sky meets the land.

I might have felt kindness,
however much I've fought against it.
Yet I still can hear nothing
on the other side.

Who are you?
that appears from the pitch black darkness
I've been swallowed in
ever since my youth

I've seen a layered flower
scenting my dreams with seeds.
What will they sprout into?
the stars fall from the night.

Don't forget me,
In this empty world
alone since birth,
and until then...

and now there is only
the quiet sound of snow on snow.
Purify my sleep with warm illusions,
let me go to where you are.

"It's far" "It's cold"
please remember me
as you saw me back then
until now...

Geese

Geese
by me(whatever)
to Natsume Yuujinchou- kimi ga yobu namae

what do you see in your eyes?
the geese flock around the bread crumbs,
but never close enough to touch.
A hunched back, a white whispy head,
a warm peach twilight, a shadowed pond.
The reflection of a thousand flowing clouds
linen on the water, broken by an arch across
flowers in the gateway
rustling valley grass.
I stepped through in a dream,
black buckled shoes,
and stood behind you.
there was no conversation,
no stirring of your outline,
yet you felt my presence, as I felt yours.
and once the whistle blew,
and the birds lifted all at once,
your figure shimmered in the flurry,
disappearing without a sound.

Who were you?
I could see through your eyes
yet I couldn't see you.

Aokigahara

Aokigahara
by me(whatever)
to: Ghosts in the Forest 1UP Suicide remix

Wake up at 3 pm,
the cicadas scream through.
This wood where I've dwelt since ?
a boy is crunching through.

Tent, rope, and granola's,
the birds chirp their greetings,
a new object to study,
he feels a breeze on his face.

The world is so boring, and yet,
that's not why we don't need it.
How long will you wait?
On this path away from people.

Sometimes at night you shiver,
from a temperature I no longer feel.
I laugh at your silent face,
knowing you can never be honest alone.

Eyes open at 9 am,
breathing the fresh forest air.
Are you hungry for something you can't have?
never saying a word.

I'm waiting and waiting for you,
to decide which world you prefer.
Hey, leave the place you were born,
and hurry and follow me here.

Farewell

Farewell
by me(whatever)
to: Miku- Goodbye April doppel

breath came out in clouds,
wafted up to the milky way.
And disappearing, it asked a question,
"Is anyone there?"
it said.

without seeing the shape,
shadow spilled on the snow.
crunching steps, and all of a sudden, silence,
"Is anything beyond here?"
it said.

fumbling the layers of a coat,
wind spills dust as it rushes through.
shivering from where it's been, it murmurs quietly,
"Can even you not see me?"
it said.

Never let me go

Never let me go
by me(whatever)
to: Florence + The Machine- Never Let Me Go

Never let me go,
all of these memories,
that make me who I am,
untrustworthy enough,
to keep that childhood promise.

I might tell you that I've solved them all,
those questions that torture your soul.
But you ask them because you don't see me,
and nobody can trust their own reflection.

I could tell you that you were wrong,
everything twisted to your own perception.
But you lie to yourself because you're afraid,
and you can only climb that wall alone.

Never let me go,
this nonexistence I lead,
like static on the wrong channel,
untrustworthy enough,
that no one can see who I am. 

I might tell you that you've stolen it all away,
the freedom I used to have, you spit it up,
like it was foul in your mouth, and couldn't sing you to sleep.
But if I told you..., you'd steal away those words.

I might tell you that I was like you,
unable to feel the other people around me.
But I've found my answer, a reason I'm alive,
and someone can only find that once they're dead.

Never let me go,
when I could believe,
when I was from the wild,
when I could be happy,
when I was a child.

There's nothing left of you.

4

4
by me(whatever)
to: Hurting for a very hurtful pain

午前四時, clovers, children, a window with blinds half drawn,
an existence without any meaning,
it's time to die within dreams,
miss miss miss miss

A crack in the door, a peek from the closet, peering from the mirror, 少女,
ignorance within the pages of a book,
it's time for the lights to go out,
miss miss miss miss

corpse on the floor, moth, parade in the static, 獏さん,
eat away this nightmare reality,
it's time to remember what you asked,
miss miss miss miss

black pool of water, desert of people,the night raises up, questioning
stay away, stay away,
少女, what is it that you
miss miss miss miss

?

Apple Sauce

Apple Sauce

by me(whatever)

to: miku- Outside the Window

Oil drips from the handle,

the juice spills through the metal.

Turning the apples to mush,

my mother stirs the sauce over heat,

while it bubbles like caramel, refusing to settle.

The whole house is humid,

and smells like the almost burnt fruit.

Dark clouds from the window,

spooning abhorrent spheres from soup,

wooden pounder; smashing it down the chute.

The sun goes down,

the sky is in monochrome.

Glass jars in a pot of broiling wrath,

lids, ringers, and spilled mess,

it feels like home.

Bulletin Board

Bulletin Board
by me(whatever)

It was written on the bulletin board,
in another one of those illusions
a question beneath the reflections
so small, you could hardly even see it,
in a quiet, translucent, and dishonest pencil gray;
"Is there a meaning in life?"

Just passing by,
like the hundreds of other students every day,
who didn't bother to answer the invisible.
Well, just because I see it,
and just because I feel it,
Is that a good enough reason to answer you?

If a lifetime of memories
could remedy the lifetime itself,
with the pain, the joy, and the sorrow,
weaved in a personality one could say copied,
but who still asks annoying questions,
what would either of us find there?

There's a difference,
and that difference gaps time, experience, and yourself.
Already exposed to the societal ease,
the religious equations,
and the scientific telescopes,
would you be satisfied with my answer?

They want something substantial,
something to last forever.
But even the stars die, and the people turn to dust,
and the ash of existence fades away.
There's a limited time, and I'm afraid
that there isn't a meaning at all.

I would like to find the solution,
if only for my own selfish peace of mind.
That old food critic said "Chouquettes",
the concierge said "Camellias",
and even I said "Campanella",
but aren't these all the same?

I know, I'm backpedaling,
since I know that actually, you're a liar,
and that you're asking a different question entirely.
It doesn't always have to start in a "C"ea of ambiguity,
the answer could be found in an apple grove,
but how could I tell you so you understand?

You won't believe me,
so I can't write anything at all.
there is an eternity, no matter how small,
found in a place without buildings, bridges, or roads.
a meaning for your life;
you have to find it yourself.

Two-faced Monologue

Two-faced Monologue
by me(whatever)
to: IA- Elegy Context

You smiled painfully,
and with the resolution
of a dying child
you turned the clock back.

"It's a count down",
but you are always the same #.
If you could escape your mind
by climbing into mine.

You are in love with dreams,
and that expression of yours
disgusts me when you can't wake, yet
realize you are still asleep.

Let us play a game,
one where you(me) shuts up
and leaves the other forever.
It's not hide and seek.

I'd like those ideals
that were taught as truth,
and shown as lies
to crumble like dust in this world.

There will never be a place,
for either you or me.
I'd like to be on my own,
where someone like "you" doesn't exist.

I am the Hero

I am the Hero
by me(whatever)
to: Tawagoto Speaker

I am the hero,
I am the savior.
I am the one
who will change this world.

I am the king,
I am the emperor.
I am the one
who will set down the laws.

I am the warrior,
I am the knight.
I am the one
who will manage to save you.

I am the teacher,
I am the guardian.
I am the one
who taught what "bravery" was.

I am the observer,
I am the listener.
I am the one
who couldn't hear you.

I am the hero,
I am the liar.
I am the one
who couldn't change your world.

I am the king,
I am the tyrant.
I am the one
whose laws didn't help you.

I am the coward,
I am the knight.
I am the one
who couldn't save you.

I am the enemy,
I am the ignorant.
you are the one
who taught me what "bravery" was.

Plip Plop

Plip Plop
by me(whatever) 

w                p     i   t  t    e  r         o                d     r    o    p              f                   w            t   a     p       w
h                         n                        n                            v                     r                    h            h                 o
i        s                 t                         t                             e                     o         s         e            e                 r
t        o       d        o                        o                            r                     m        i          r                              d
e        f        a                                               g                           t                      l         e            r                s
           t        r          t                        t           r                t          r          t           l                      a
c                   k         h                       h          a                h         e          h                   I             i               o
o         m                  e                        e          s                e          e          e                                 n             n
m         o         c                                              s                                                             c                           
f            r         l          a                        r                          p          l          w                     a            l           a
o            n        o         u         a             o                          l           e          i                      n            i
r             i         u          g         i             u                          u          a          n                                   k        p
t              n        d          u         r             g                          m         v         d                       s           e        a
e              g         s          s                        h                                       e         o                       e                  g
r                        p     a     t     t    e    r                    d     r   i    p         s         w      t   i   p      e                  e
                                                                                                                                                                  .

Alien Queenly

A1ien 9ueenly
by me(whatever)
to: Equationx**

What!!!
Are you my enemy?
All this time I thought you were my general,
was I being delusional again,
I wonder.....

You don't exist yet,
but I dream of you so many times,
my mother doesn't know. my father doesn't know.
or care.
My psychologist doesn't know.

Right now!!1
you want me to write this right now?
calm down red strip
I wasn't
trying to publish this at the moment.

Is it past one am
I can smell something seeping in here
probably through the window
and I know
exactly what it is, you.

Why!9!
Must it be three explanation points???
That English teacher would have a fit
but I have to
explain this, this way.

It's a normal day,
I'm bored. I'm dead. I need a shower.
Everyones left me by myself
like I have
and I willingly did math today.

Laughter!!!
It's far away, but it must be at me
even my existence is so embarrassing.
Oh wait,
that's right. I'm the one laughing. At them.

It must be the same,
the same dream. the same day. the same socks.
And that number 19 is continuing to haunt me
and I might
care. but do nothing about it.

It's Lost!!!
and I'm sweeping out the cobwebs in my brain
trying so hard to remember the name you had.
but, I'd forgotten
that the mind has no back up files.

I am right handed.
I'm not special like you are,
though (of course) you won't read this
this is
absolutely. The ramblings of an alien queenly, socially-starved Neet. 

Insomnia

Insomnia
by me(whatever)
to: KK- N

the night falls
and before I notice it
I'm wrapped in the dark,
the dark that
extends to places I am unable to reach.

the silence echoes
in this lonely lit room
 and I can sense the words
clearer here
with everyone else asleep.

It's happened again
the lamp flickers again
and there is a forest of trees,
an escape,
dancing in the shadows on the wall.

unable to sleep
because my body has memories
I don't wish to remember
asking me
how to separate dreams from dreams.

No
by me(whatever)
to: Stephen Swartz- Bullet Train

would life move easier,
if everyone disappeared
one day in some kind of
virus apocalypse
if everyone was eaten
by the hell rampaging
in their own heads.
would I be happier,
if that old lady down the street
suddenly got hit by a car
on the sundays
she loves so much
if that neighbor across the road
tortured young children
until they were
no longer recognizable.
would I be saved
if my father beat me
if my mother spat
on my grave
every single time
she would pass by
with her red and blue umbrella
when no rain could fall.
would I be able to relax
if my friends ignored me for good
if there was no sound
able to reach
the tiny birds ears
as the cat sneaks up behind.
would I be less of a coward
if someone stabbed me
with a rusty knife
and left me to bleed
in an abandoned alley way
if it was misty everyday
and they all stayed indoors
while I wandered outside.
would I be smarter
if that dog behind the fence
jumped out and ran
surviving on garbage
in gutters and trashcans
until it rotted away on
the steps of an unknown persons home
if the teacher in that classroom
gave up one day
and hung himself
from the banister.
would I be forgiven
if everyone else was worse
if I pretended
it wasn't my fault
if I had managed
to believe
in those lies.

Ocean in Oregon

Ocean in Oregon
by me(whatever)
to: Coldplay- Hurts like Heaven

ocean in Oregon
responding to the world's spin,
responding to the moon
light grey clouds
light grey sand
reflecting each other,
an earth and sky love affair.

waves slide serene
attempting to meet me before I go
attempting to walk along the beach
with it's own two legs,
and with it's sweet, fresh, and cold breath
kiss the warm lungs
of a human, as nonexistent
as a single grain of sand.

old man and his daughter
arm in arm, strolling down the line
not knowing how far they've gone
not knowing how far they'll go
and over here,
a person standing alone
watching the white foam disappear
with the person they've loved so far away
waiting and waiting
wrapped comfortably in the water's soliloquy.

And the birds fly back and forth
together, low across the edge of the world
in rhythm with the waves
in rhythm with the gravity of the moon
in rhythm with the spinning of the Earth
and only a few of the dead
add to the reality of the canvas.

the boy picks up a drifting stick
etching a chaos of curving lines
against the ground, as though
trying to mark that he was there,
he was definitely there,
underneath the light grey sky
before the clear, white ocean
on the millions of grains of sand.

I am

I am
by me(whatever)

I am a coward
that is why I can be brave.

I am weak
that is why I can be strong.

I am in sorrow
that is why I am able to love.

I am poor
that is why I can labor.

I am angered
that is why I can make my stand.

I am in pain
that is why I can move forward.

I am foolish
that is why I can learn.

I am alone
that is why I am who I am.

Although

Although
by me(whatever)
to: Say Something

Although they scream at me,
blaming me and crying
I'm only the puff of an existence,
that they can't even see is dying. 

It's almost as though,
throughout all these years,
not one of us has lived at all.

Yet I've discovered,
in a universe
I've feared
a name that still
hasn't disappeared.

Though I can't solve,
these questions,
I've managed to live this far.

And though they're stuck,
I still can't help them.
Alone in our own minds,
a.m. and p.m.

Because in this room
even with someone there,
I can only see myself.

Yet I've discovered
in a galaxy
I've feared
a name that still
hasn't disappeared.

Since the world is round,
I am not allowed to cut corners
in the hours it gives me.

And though they explain,
I will never fully understand.
Even if love does exist,
I could never fulfill it's demands.

There is no place to stand,
and I could never belong
because I don't know who I am.

Yet I've discovered
in a world
I've feared
a name that still
hasn't disappeared.

And though neither of us exist,
and I don't know who I am,
I know who I want to become.
I want to become you.

Please don't say that.

Please don't say that.
by me(whatever)
to Miku- Don't look at me in that way

[
Anger
Terror
Mentality
Abuse
Distrust
Coward
]

Lucky

[
Quiet
Kind
Mentality
Gentle
Trust
Brave
]

Depreciate

Envy
.
.
.

Sketch

Sketch
by me(whatever)
to: A Love Song (It's too clumsy)

you sketched me out on a piece
of ripped, lined notebook paper.
you breathed the first and the last
words I spoke to you.

Between the lines I am divided by,
there is an empty space of white.
Dots for eyes, and ovals for hands
what am I? who am I?

There was no time,
I was dead as soon as I was born.
There is a tattered piece of a part of you
still left in me. 

Open the day to more
than a ruled blue horizon.
Because I've been here a long time,
closed within night.

If its your dream,
where do you think I'll travel to?
A forgotten moment,
since I couldn't resemble you.

Someone is Dead

Someone is Dead
by me(whatever)
to: Pendulum- Hold Your Colour

someone is dead,
I don't know who.

where are her scissors?
oh, I know
on the ground by the table.

The table is raised by books.

someone is dead,
I don't know who.

There's a fly
on the hook hanging from the cieling.

I can't tell
if this is my room or not.

Someone screamed out
last night at 3 AM.

Was it a phone call?
or...

Someone is dead in my room.
I don't know who.

The cereal bowl is dumped in the trash can,
the meat slipped from the pan.
They can smell it by now. 

Is a fingernail in the corner by the door?
Is there a red balloon across the wall?

Oh wait,
I popped it last night.
With scissors.

Who are these people here?
They're too noisy.

I don't like them. 

Someone is dead,
I don't know who
you are.

The rope is lowered
at 9 AM.
It scratches, you know?

No one can see you.
Your number reads from the phone.

1-121-2212

Someones breath lets go
at 4 AM
last night.

The shells layer the apartment
staining my carpet floor.

Only you can see me
only I can see you.

Someone is dead,
I don't know who
I am.

It's too Hot for Thinking

It's too Hot for Thinking
by me(whatever)
to yanagi nagi- Little Forest

It's too hot for thinking,
and a moment ago
the swamp cooler broke
again...

What is summer,
that we lust after it so
is nothing better than
something...?

I'd like to escape my room,
and glide over mountain green
but I find that my destination
isn't on the written path.

Beh,
I'm eating an orange out of season
and pondering over dead people
that I never met.

Because you are not me,
do you not understand the things
that I say, write, and think?
Do I understand you?

I need to clean my habitat,
wash my clothes, and vacuum the floor.
But I procrastinate and create excuses.
yet I still don't feel bad.

six in the afternoon,
the world is still spinning
has nothing changed,
or has something changed?

It's too hot for thinking,
and a moment ago
I fell asleep from reality
again...

Paper Birds

Paper Birds
by me(whatever)
to: Flow- Days

In the warming season,
I came to love this town.
the shatters and tatters of your paper birds,
flew off the balcony in the gust of wind
like the remnants of a dream
how can I connect to your words?

Any cold memories that were left,
are melting like ice cream in the sun
Although truly nothing has changed since those days...
in the golden horizon seen from astride your kite,
the clouds floated and flitted uneasily
addressing it's love to the phantom blaze.

The dream is far away
enough that I might fall.
within the grasp of the eastern jet stream,
I've gone lighter than the stratosphere
to see this Earth from the moon,
because things are not always what they seem. 

Living the days one by one,
I was used to living here.
the childish balloon I held to the sky
shriveled up like the apple core you threw to the ground
even when I attached ten thousand to my arms
I realized I wasn't able to fly.

At the distance between,
I was stuck before the destination.
If the milky-way was out of my reach,
I never saw anything except a city of nebulae
filling up the shuttle screen;
an anticipatory breach. 

You were looking beyond,
to a place I couldn't see.
Over the summer grass twilight held agleam,
I landed the reply to those letters
twisted in the shape of birds, because
I know you are not what you seem.

The Annexation of the Netherworld

The Annexation of the Netherworld
by me(whatever)
to Miku- Love Love Nightmare

The annexation of the netherworld,
I saw it in a dream.
laughing and dancing in the blood shed,
bestowing the crown on the young boy's head.

My boogie man crept out from the closet,
the ravenous shadows slunk from beneath the bed
to join the feast in the banquet hall,
laying the table pieces with the old man's skull.

The harpies began to sing in choir,
as the ghouls chopped down the sky-reaching tree.
The throne grinned at the top of the pedestal,
presenting it's fangs to hide the trepidation.

A castle black as night
holding demons in their invisible prison cells,
consuming each other, consuming themselves
throwing the remains in the river Cocytus.

I saw it in a dream,
a descending entropy as the roots drifted through Tartarus.
The young boy smiled within his trepanation
fastening the iron-fused crown to his separated cranium.

OverFlow

OverFlow
by me(whatever)
to School Food Punishment- Futuristic Imagination

What message are you trying to convey?
SOS from a casket of glass.
the day is ending without a sound,
flowing under the bridge lanterns.

tomorrow I might disappear,
I disappeared yesterday.
Whose to say where the river will lead?
Resistance is futile.

You're running again, see, look,
over there in the anti-gravity clouds
do you see a picture of yourself?
before the bus comes around the corner.

No one spares a glance,
the glass shatters orange in the dusk.
To feel your breath,
the bubbles rise.

There was no such thing,
as the mistake that once existed.
Before the dreams overflowed,
this empty city
kept changing. 

Whispers

Whispers
by me(whatever)
to  miku- Inside a silent room

The rabbits on the moon are whispering,
without any set rhythm or ...
I looked up by tilting my balance
and found fish floating in the shadows of my aqueous humor. 

If you drop the words like rain on the summer grass,
there won't be any memory or ...
I looked through the mirror by tilting my hand
and found a wish to dye the night by sodium hypochlorite.

The freezing snow blanketing the forest trees,
without any warmth or ...
I looked beside me by tilting the earth
and found an empty room.

Rocket

Rocket 
by me(whatever)
to Campanella (akane_madder)

On the surface of a smooth planet,
gripping and felling the iron works
dents and scrapes and sparking wires
a ball of outer stars
slipping and falling
landing, stalling.

If it was blue within and without,
the digital process viewing windows
there was a dream far away
a snail in the milky way
gliding and singing
straddling, clinging.

Childish paper airplane
compensation at the tolling
black and curling and fading
a crumpled up message
living and wishing
dying, missing.

The Golden Apple

-a short story I rushed somewhat, so it's not perfect. But I thought I'd post it anyways. 

The Golden Apple

Candace padded her way over the cobblestones, hearing the sound of her shoes hitting the ground. The other children had already scattered in different directions, and she could hear them in the short distance. Ila's voice traveled over into Candace's ears.

“5...6...7...8...”

Candace whirled from the main street, and into a tiny alleyway that she had never explored before. It was dirty, with the filth climbing the bricks and rubbing off onto her hand that she was tracing along the wall. She hitched up her long skirts with her left. The alleyway seemed to be getting narrower and narrower, and she was now having to go sideways. She heard Ila's voice come to an abrupt stop.

“...29...30!”

Candace stopped running, and stifled her breathing with her hand as she lightly walked further into the alleyway. The children weren't supposed to be in the abandoned city, and if the adults knew they were there, they would immediately send Edgar to get them. Edgar was large and had a husky quality to him that immediately intimidated anyone around him. He had never raised a hand against them, but they all knew that he could. The children didn't much like Edgar, but they simply couldn't resist the temptation of the abandoned city. When they weren't paying much attention, Candace and the others would sneak off through the woods, coming out on the other side to the abandoned city. It had been deserted for at least a hundred years, but most of the buildings and roads still stood. They loved to play hide and seek, or go exploring. Candace could imagine what type of people lived there when she walked into a stone enclosure that used to be a home. The city was so large, that even after all the years they had been going to it, they still hadn't explored all of it.

Candace squeezed her way out of the end of the alleyway and stood amazed at what was before her. It was a courtyard. High brick walls surrounded her on all sides, and an open doorway where the door had long rotted away was the only open way onto it from all the buildings. But that wasn't what she was staring at.

A tree.

It stood in the middle of the enclosure; a magnificent weeping willow. A sudden gust of wind whirled down, and the leaves rustled like the curtains on a summer day when her mother left the window open. It looked like it had been standing forever. The trunk of it was as wide as a fat mans belly, and boils grew out of it here and there like warts. Candace stood enchanted by it until an unfamiliar cat passed right by her leg, and she started. It was black as sin, and stared at her like it was sizing her up before shrugging her off and making it's way towards the tree. Candace recovered herself, and immediately became annoyed.

“Well sorry if I'm not good enough for you, your cat-jesty.”

The cat didn't even look back.

“Fine! Just go on your way, you high-and-mighty, I know all you felines are the same,” Candace kicked a stone in frustration, but it bounced off the brick and hit her back in her shin. She hopped in pain and started to rub it. She wasn't generally offended by animals, but when she was by herself, she put on a new persona so she could entertain herself. She would be embarrassed if anyone heard her, though.

“His name is Bartholomew, you know,” said a girl's voice from nowhere.

Candace froze. She spun and looked around, but couldn't see anyone. The voice had come from the tree, she was sure of it. She peered up into the leaves and spotted a bit of fabric leading to someone's dress.

“Who are you?” she asked the strange girl. It wasn't anyone from the hide-and-seek game.

“I knew you would come here, and I thought you would ask that, but is it really something you should know?”

Candace was flabbergasted. Just who was this person? Wait a minute...

“You knew I would come here?” Candace walked closer to the tree so she could see the girl's face.

“Yes,” said the girl, not volunteering any information.

“How?” She saw a strand of a white, white hair like the plumage of a dove.

“The tree told me. There hasn't been anyone else around here for a long time. But the tree knows me, and decided to give me a little bit of the future. Trees can tell the past and the future, did you know? That's why they grow rings and stay in the same place their whole lives.”

“I don't get it.”

The girl laughed.

“She told me about that too,” she said. Candace walked around the trunk and finally spotted the girl's face. She was about her age, with long white hair that stretched past her feet if she was standing up. She was wearing a plain gray dress with an apron on the front. Her eyes were buried in a ginormous, old book that looked like it could fall apart at any moment. The girl noticed her eyes on her and looked down from her book.

“Hello,” the girl said.

Candace squinted up at her from all the dappling sunlight bursting it's way through the leaves.

“Who are you?” She asked for the second time.

“Sophie,” she said, “I'm Sophie. And you're Candace.”

Something brushed against her leg, and Candace started again, finding the black cat skimming her skirts. It looked up at her, and then sat on her feet. Sophie laughed.

“It looks like his cat-majesty has taken a liking you, what will you do?”

Candace slumped down and started stroking the animal behind the ears.

“Sophie, what are you doing in the abandoned city?” She asked the girl, peering up again through the leaves.

She was back with her eyes in her book.

“I take care of her,” she said.

“Her...as in the tree?”

“Yes.”

“But what about-”

“I think you better go now,” Sophie said, looking down at her, “the game is over and they're calling for you.”

“What?” Candace cast her head about, “But I don't hear anything!”

“That's because you're in here. You really want to leave now. Trust me.”

Candace stared at her. She made a split decision and stood up.

“Okay, fine. Will I see you again?”

“Until next time,” said Sophie with her nose in her book.

“Until next time,” echoed Candace, peering up at her, “alright, okay then, bye!” She whirled around and ran to the alleyway entrance, then turned back and waved. Sophie didn't even notice. She stood there for a moment more, stuffing the scenery into her mind, than raced down into the depths of the alleyway, the path becoming wider and wider the farther she went.

After Candace had left, Sophie shut her book and climbed down the tree. The cat pawed it's way up to her.

“Bartholomew,” she said softly, stroking the cat as it purred, “what now?”

Candace stared out the window of the small cottage she called her home. It had started to rain­ slightly, and woods outside were dark in the twilight. It was an early spring rain, cold as winter, yet nourishing to the world. The space inside was cramped and there was a leak in the roof that dripped, dripped, dripped, interfering with her thoughts. After she had emerged from the alleyway, she found the others shouting her name in a sort-of panic. Edgar had sniffed them out, but they couldn't leave because she was missing. They had easily been searching for her over fifteen minutes.

“Where have you been?!” Ila had asked, when they finally found her. Candace had told her that she didn't hear them. All of the other kids had looked at her weird. She had always heard them before. Ila was about to ask more questions, but Edgar interfered. He towered over her, and Candace reflexively shrank back from him. A giant grizzly glaring at her.

“Little girl, I've had to come and get you almost fifty times. You're one of the oldest in this group, you would think you would have learned to keep your ass out of this place by now. But no, I see you're as mentally shrunk as the rest of them. Keep out of this place. It's for your own good.” The other kids were several feet away. Edgar spit out some of his tobacco on the beautiful, ancient cobblestones, making a mess that Candace couldn't help but stare at in indignation. He herded them out of the abandoned city in silence.

 She hated him, she really did. But there was something that she had noticed while coming out of the alleyway that filled her head more than her resentment. When she had first came to the abandoned city, the sun was high in the sky. The whole exchange with the strange girl, and everything else had felt like it had only taken a few minutes. But when she took her first step out of the alleyway, it was already dusk, the red and orange filling up the broken streets.

Bang!

Candace was startled out of her thoughts by the ear-splitting noise in the kitchen. Her mother had dropped a heavy iron pan on the wooden floor. She was sprawled spread-eagle with her arms on the counter tops, her face as white as paste, staring at the cooking appliance. Candace peered over, and spotted something furry emerging from the side of it. It had peanut fur, velvet ears, and large black bead eyes.

A mouse.

“Candace!” her mother screamed, “do something!” She was now attempting to climb onto the counters, her body comically horizontal as she tried to keep her feet off the ground. Candace stared at her for a moment, then flew over to the door and opened it. She snatched up the garbage tin near the entrance, dumped all of its contents onto the red embroidered rug in a single movement, and ran towards the mouse that was still in the middle of the kitchen flooring. It seemed to be dazed by its fall, but her heavy footsteps awakened its sense of danger. It scurried over the wood, its nails clicking audibly, as it headed for the cubby hole in the side of the wall.

“No!” yelled Candace, attempting to turn at full tilt, to catch it before it disappeared. The result was that she slipped on the smooth flooring and fell forwards on the ground. From the corner of her vision, she saw a blur of something black flash across the room. She shook her head, ridding it of stars, and stared at Bartholomew with the mouse in his jaws.

“Whose cat is that?” asked her mother, easing from the counter tops. Bartholomew swished his tail at her, and then stared unerringly at Candace. Candace felt like she was being sucked into those big grey eyes, almost as though they were attempting to communicate.

“Hey, mom,” said Candace, “ what was the story about the abandoned city again?”

“You mean Postmeridie? It used to be populated with people, but I heard that they all vanished one day. Like they turned into thin air, a hundred and something years ago. I thought I told you this before? I don't want you going near that place, do you hear me?”

“Wasn't there something about a monster? Wasn't that why you don't want me near there?”

Her mother scratched her chin.

“It's just a rumor people made up, some legend. The reason I don't want you going near that place is because it's dangerous to play in ruins. Something could fall...you're always wandering off...”

Bartholomew tiptoed to Candace's lap, and set the dead mouse on her apron. Candace stared at it. Her mother yelped in pain, seeing it.

“Hey mom,” she said wrapping the dead mouse in her apron to throw out later, “I know whose cat this is, so I'm going to go return him. I won't be gone long...”

“Take the lantern, it's on the table,” said her mother, backing away, “and get rid of the thing.”

“...right.”

….

It was darker than Candace had thought it would be, as she trekked through the woods in the twilight with the lantern held at her side. She dodged the roots and the branches, peering at Bartholomew, who was always a bit ahead. The woods were different at night, scarier. Candace couldn't help being a little tense, and periodically checked behind her, feeling paranoid that someone was following her. When at last she came to the city on the other side, she breathed in the open night air. She had come here many times before, when it was light, and thought she knew exactly what it was like. But in the darkness, it changed into a giant black beast waiting to devour her. Candace knew it was ridiculous to be frightened, but when she squinted at the shattered windows and the pitch black open doorways, all she could imagine was the hundreds of people who had disappeared, crowding in on her, moaning. A short, chill breeze flew it's way through her as her footsteps echoed coldly in the street and she shivered. She clutched at the lantern; the only boundary between her and the dark.

Bartholomew bounded forward, obviously made to be in the night. He turned back to her, and all in a moment he vanished out of sight. Candace panicked, and ran blindly forwards, as though Bartholomew was her only guide, when she stumbled over a piece of debris and felt the deepened air of the alleyway at her side. She found her bearings with her hand on the familiar brick wall, and ran down the tunnel, the lantern casting and shattering light in the tightened space. On the other side, she stopped and caught her breath.

Daylight.

She shaded her eyes, blurry in the sudden change of lighting. It was pure daylight here, dazzling and bright in all it's glory. There was the tree, and she could spot all of the cracks and weeds sprouting in the courtyard stones. It was exactly the same as when she had come here earlier. She gaped, unable to believe her eyes.

Where is Sophie?

She wasn't anywhere to be found. The courtyard was empty, just like the tree branches were empty. Candace stumbled into the door frame at the left of the willow tree, and looked inside for the first time. It was a one room living space, with a single table in the middle, and a tiny bed in the back. There were a few bookshelves, but the shelves seemed incredibly lonely with only a couple of old, frail books taking up their space. Sophie wasn't here either.

Candace stepped outside, and that was when she saw Bartholomew. He was sitting in front of the tree, staring upwards, almost melancholy.

Dusk was falling.

“Bartholomew?” Candace walked over to him, and he didn't even stir. That was when she noticed the subtle, golden glow from the tree stump. There was a figure embedded into the tree, and the glow outlined them against the fast falling shade. Their body had become the color of bark, and roots seemed to grow from the tree to them. It took a moment for Candace to realize what she was seeing.

“Sophie,” she whispered, and then louder, “Sophie!”

She plunged at the tree and tried to remove the roots sucking, almost eating, her. She tugged and tugged, but nothing would come free.

“Sophie!” she screamed, desperate. With one final tug, Candace succeeded in pulling off one of the thinner roots covering the girl's left arm. Sophie twitched, and then opened her eyes.

“Candace?” She asked, quiet like a sick person.

“Sophie! You, you're-” Candace didn't' quite know how to explain the situation.

“Stop,” she said, quiet, but demanding. Candace froze.

“But you're stuck to a tree!” she shouted, indignant, “I have to get you out!”

“No,” Sophie said, quieter and quieter, “This is supposed to happen.” Another tree root slithered over her legs, and she grimaced in pain.

“But, but...” Candace jumped on both of her feet, not knowing what to do.

“Listen to me,” Sophie said, fixing her gaze on her, “There was a reason you came here, it wasn't just a game of hide a seek that had you find this place. You're next, you're the reason you came here, it wasn't chance, do you understand?”

Candace couldn't move, not even create an expression on her face.

“I was meant...to find this place?”

Sophie nodded her head.

“I-” Candace was suddenly violently pushed to the ground, scraping her elbows. Bartholomew let out a screech, and the fur rose on his back. Through the hazy twilight, Candace saw a large shape from behind her and then realized it was Edgar. He was staring at Sophie.

“It's you,” he said, his eyes shiny with something Candace couldn't recognize.

“Lucius,” said Sophie softly, staring up at him.

“You..., you're the one that...that...”

“...I'm sorry Lucius.”

At the sound of her apology, the look in Edgars face changed into something more beast than human. He sprang at her, and before Candace knew it, he was choking Sophie with both hands.

“Don't say you're sorry! Never say you're sorry! You're not sorry, you little bitch! You killed them! You killed them all, and when I came back, they were gone! My family, my daughter, everyone!” Tears started rolling down his face. Sophie was making choking noises, and was starting to turn blue. With the left hand that Candace had freed, she reached out and held onto his arm, almost like she was trying to comfort him while he was killing her.

“They were gone! Every last one! Why? Why did you kill them? You should have killed me too!” Candace could see in the glow that something wet and shiny was streaming down Sophie's cheeks. Candace stood up and charged into Edgar's side with all of her strength, knocking him down across the cobblestones, freeing Sophie from his grip. She tripped and fell on her knees, breathing hard. Sophie coughed and wheezed, getting her breath back. Edgar stayed where he was, lying helplessly on the ground.

“I was on a trip, and they waved me goodbye,” he said with his back to them, “I promised I would return safely.”

silence.

“I was the only one out of the city when it happened. I thought that at least I could see them again when I died, but I realized a few years later that I wasn't aging. Even hanging myself didn't work...” he shook his head.

“It was my mistake,” said Sophie, “I wanted the city to live with me, but I didn't realize the price...the energy flowed the wrong way. It dispersed into whatever was left, the stone, the trees, and you. When I realized what had happened, I couldn't change it though I wanted to.”

More silence.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered.

Edgar put his head up to the sky. The first stars were blinking visibly.

“I knew when the girl didn't return for the longest time, where she was and why you wanted her. I followed her, hoping there was a chance...”

“I can't.”

“...If you won't do it, then...” He stood up. In three seconds, he had his hands wrapped around Candace's throat. She couldn't breathe, and tears sprang to her eyes.

“Then I'll just have to become the next god!” His eyes were gleaming with the pain, fear, and greed of a wild animal. He squeezed harder and harder, and Candace could feel herself suffocating. Her vision was going blurry.

“Lucius,” she heard Sophie say, half in an illusion. She pointed her left hand at Edgar, and before Candace's very eyes, he was aging. His eyelids drooped lower and lower, his skin became leathery on her throat, and his grip became less and less. His wrinkles spread over his face, and just as Candace blinked, he was gone. Ashes had eaten away his body, and all that was left of him was a sigh in the wind as it blew them away.

Candace stared at the place he had disappeared.

“Where...did...” she started, coughing as the breath returned to her lungs.

“Candace,” Sophie said, and Candace looked over. She was shocked to find that all that was left of her was her head. Her left arm had quickly become covered with bark after she had pointed it, and the bark was climbing up her throat.

“Sophie!” she said, in shock.

“Candace, listen...to...me...” the bark had now climbed up to her mouth, and she was having trouble speaking, “Night...I'm...gone...gol-...apple.” The bark continued up to her eyes and formed a circle around them. Candace threw her eyes up to the sky. The light was almost gone. All that was left of it was a hint of pink on the horizon.

“Gol-...of...su..n...sil..v...of...moo...n,” she finished. The last pink disappeared, and Sophie became completely covered by bark. Her eyes were closed, and to Candace it seemed as though she almost had a smile on her face. The subtle golden light that had outlined her before was now replaced by darkness. Unless you knew she was there, you wouldn't have been able to see her. Candace shrank into a ball and cried. Bartholomew tread over to her, and he let her hold him. After what seemed like a thousand years, but was only a few minutes, Bartholomew squirmed and put his paw on her cheek. Candace looked up, and realized that it wasn't as dark as it was before. There was a glow coming from somewhere. Bartholomew hopped out her arms, and stood a little ways off looking at the source. Candace turned around, and saw it.

A golden apple.

It was growing from the willow tree, glowing in the night like a lantern. It was warm like honey. Candace stood up and faced it. It was then she understood. She silently went up to it and cupped it in her hands. It was pulsating with a luke-warm heat. She pulled it from the tree, and the light refracted across the stones and the thousand hanging leaves of the willow tree. She held it to her eyes, and the light seemed to seep into her. She silently said her goodbyes.

She took a bite.

Golden apples of the sun,

silver apples of the moon.

The never-ending night bore witness to her promise.